Happy Father's Day, Dads!
by NeahZoldyck13
Summary: Bill and Dipper's kids decide to do something nice for Father's Day. Hilarity ensues. Rated for sexual references and a couple other mild things. Full details in Author's Notes. Human!Bill, BillDip, Older!Dipper. Future fic! Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there!


**A/N: Hey guys! Happy Father's Day! This may be late, but... oh well! I was busy today. Anyway, have some fluffy BillDip family fluff on me. This is my first foray into the Gravity Falls fandom, so please give me feedback and let me know how I did!**

 **So, quick note on some of this: Nate is 8 and Hazel is 6. They are Bill and Dipper's blood children, and as such, are half demon. Bill was their "mother", since in my mind, demons can shape-shift into whatever sex they want. And I think I might have accidentally hinted at Bill being either fluid or third gender...? Oh well! He still uses he/him/his pronouns, he just doesn't really care if you call him a she. So TECHNICALLY, this contains mentions of Mpreg, but not really. There's a little bit of discussion of this in here, so just quick little warning. My gender fluid ass was feeling really damn dysphoric today, so this came about as a result. Also, couple sex references, but nothing too bad.**

 **Also, on Bill: Yes, this is Human!Bill. However, he is STILL A DEMON. He's just a demon in a human body. Also, Bill's physical form in this is around 24, while Dipper is around 26. And Bill is very androgynous in my mind. So, yeah...**

 **Okay, enough of my long notes.** **Enjoy!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gravity Falls in any way, shape, or form. All rights go to Disney and Alex Hirsch. On with the story!**

* * *

"Happy Father's Day, Dad and Daddy!" Hazel squealed, jumping onto her fathers' bed. She was met with twin groans, and then two sleepy pairs of eyes. One was a rich gold, the other a chocolate brown.

"Hazel, love, could you let us sleep just a little bit longer?" her golden-eyed father groaned. Hazel giggled.

"Sillies! Nate made breakfast. Get up and come eat it, and then you get your presents!" Two exhausted parents groaned, but complied with their daughter's wishes, rolling out of bed and following her downstairs.

Hazel grinned as she saw her younger brother Nate setting out plates for everyone. "They're up, Nate!" she chirped. Nate, ever the calmer one, turned and flashed his fathers a grin.

"Happy Father's Day, Dad. Happy Father's Day, Pops. Now, sit! I made breakfast. Hazel helped a bit, too," Nate recited, clasping his hands. Both Bill and Dipper internally winced. Hazel had inherited Mabel's... odd taste in food. They hoped breakfast was still edible.

"Thank you for this, darlings! It looks delicious!" Bill chirped, forcing a grin. Hopefully Nate hadn't let Hazel put anything bad in the pancakes... right?

Dipper apparently didn't share his concerns, and shoved a bite of pancake in his mouth. When no adverse reaction occurred, Bill figured it was safe to eat his own pancakes.

"So, we have a present for you two!" Hazel squealed halfway through breakfast. Nate whacked her shoulder.

"Let them finish eating, at least!" Nate exclaimed. Hazel shrunk in her seat a little, and Bill shot Nate a grateful look.

"The presents will still be there after we finish breakfast," Dipper soothed Hazel. Hazel still looked sad. Neither Bill nor Dipper could stand seeing one of their children sad, so Bill took matters into his own hands.

"We'll get ice cream later if you're patient, okay?" Bill offered. Hazel perked up immediately and readily agreed. Crisis averted, Bill and Dipper went back to their pancakes.

As soon as they finished eating, Hazel grabbed their plates and dashed off to wash them. Nate stood up and led his parents into the living room, making them promise to close their eyes until they were told otherwise. Complying, Dipper and Bill shut their eyes, wondering just what their children were up to.

After a lot of shuffling, Hazel and Nate chorused, "Open your eyes!" and Dipper and Bill opened their eyes to see... a photo album.

"Auntie Mabel helped us make it," Nate explained. "We figured that we should collect all our memories into one place. Since, you know... Dad's an immortal demon." Dipper started tearing up a little, while Bill cursed his sudden bout of pollen allergies.

"Thank you. This is lovely," Dipper whispered. Bill nodded in agreement, and both Nate and Hazel beamed with joy.

"You're welcome! Happy Father's Day, Dads!" they chorused in unison. Bill and Dipper laughed a little before standing up.

"We're gonna go get dressed so we can do something, okay?" Dipper said before heading up to their room. Bill followed, grinning a little. When they got up to their room and closed the door, Bill found himself pinned against the wall by Dipper.

"Now, let's do this 'wake-up' thing properly, yeah?" Dipper purred. Bill couldn't agree more.

* * *

"What's taking them so long?" Hazel complained, tapping her foot impatiently. She had already cleaned all the dishes, gotten dressed, done her hair, and even brushed her teeth! Where were her fathers?!

"Relax, Hazel. They're probably just trying to find clean clothes," Nate said, not looking up from his book. Hazel pouted.

"Yeah, but still..."

"Ready to go, you two~?" Bill's cheery voice chirped from the top of the stairs. Hazel cheered when she saw both of her fathers, fully clothed and ready to go.

"What took you so long?! It felt like I was waiting for _hourrrrrs_!" Hazel whined, throwing herself into Bill's arms. Bill laughed and set her down.

"I can promise you it wasn't. Now, come on! The world awaits~!" Bill sang, picking up Hazel and running outside. Dipper sighed heavily and followed his crazy husband out to the car. When he saw that Bill was about to get in the driver's seat, he put his foot down.

"WILLIAM CIPHER-PINES, get OUT of the driver's seat RIGHT NOW. Do you WANT to kill your children with your atrocious driving?!" Dipper yelled in disbelief. Bill pouted but shifted over to the shotgun seat. Dipper climbed into the driver's seat. Bill was still pouting.

"Honey, I'm sorry. You still need to work on your driving, remember?" Dipper sighed. Bill stopped pouting a bit. Dipper sighed again. He was so gonna regret this...

"You can drive the kids to school tomorrow, okay?" Bill squealed in delight and wrapped Dipper in a tight hug, and Dipper wondered how he had ended up with not one but _two_ immature children. Oh well. At least Nate was responsible.

* * *

"Aw! How cute! So nice of you two to bring your father out to celebrate today!" the waitress chirped, smiling down at Hazel and Nate. Hazel grinned back, while Nate frowned a little. Couldn't the waitress see they had two dads?

"So, what can I get you today?" she asked, flipping open her pad.

"I'd like spaghetti and meatballs!" Hazel requested, grinning.

"Could I please have a chicken sandwich?" Nate ordered. Nodding, the waitress turned to Dipper and Bill.

"For you, sir?" she asked, looking at Dipper.

"I'd like a breakfast platter," Dipper said, handing over his menu. The waitress jotted down his order and turned to Bill.

"And for you, ma'am?" Nate opened his mouth to correct her, but Bill just grinned and said, "I'd like a small cheese pizza." before handing over his menu. The waitress nodded, took all of their menus, and left to put their order in. When she was gone, Nate exploded.

"Dad, why didn't you correct her?!" he asked, aghast. Bill and Dipper both sighed, as if they've explained this exact thing before.

"Nate, I'm an immortal demon. Gender is a loose construct for me at best, since I can be either a boy or a girl depending on my mood. At this point, I don't really care what people refer to me as. So, please don't correct the waitress. Understood?" Bill said. Nate nodded, and Hazel looked up from her drawing.

"Is it also because you're like our mother, Daddy?" she asked. Both Bill and Dipper blushed.

"Sort of... not really. We wanted kids, so we used the route available to us," Dipper explained, still blushing furiously. Bill nodded in agreement, looking almost relieved when he saw the waitress returning with their drinks. Once she left, Bill quickly changed the subject.

"Anyway kids! Thank you for the lovely day," Bill chirped, clapping his hands together.

"You're welcome. I mean, we have the best two dads in the world, so why wouldn't we go all out?" Nate replied. Everyone at the table laughed.

"Oh! Daddy! I managed to make a little flame yesterday! Wanna see?" Hazel piped up, bouncing up and down in excitement. Bill chuckled.

"Not now, darling, we're in public. Maybe when we get home?"

"Deal!" Hazel cried in excitement. Meanwhile, Dipper and Nate exchanged horrified looks.

"We're doomed, aren't we?" Nate moaned. Dipper nodded, accepting his fate. What had he ever done to deserve this?!

* * *

Luckily, Hazel didn't light the house on fire. Probably because she had Bill as a teacher, but whatever. After showing both her parents her new-found flame powers, the family cuddled on the couch while watching a movie called _Upside Down_.

"What is this even about?" Bill asked as Hazel gleefully popped it in.

"It's about a kid's emotions and their journey through the brain," Nate explained. Bill was still confused, but let it go in favour of keeping his daughter happy. Both Hazel and Nate nodded off right before the end of the movie, leaving Dipper and Bill to drag them to bed. Once they had accomplished this, both of them retired to bed as well. Well, not quite...

"Oh ho, Pine Tree. You are aware that we have children sleeping downstairs, correct?" Bill huffed as he found Dipper straddling his hips.

"So? We can be quiet," Dipper purred. Bill smirked.

"Oh, so that's how you want to play it~?" Bill shot back. Now it was Dipper's turn to smirk.

"We could always give them a younger sibling?" Dipper suggested, leaving Bill laughing.

"Oh, you're on," Bill replied. "Just don't wake the kids."

"That I can do," Dipper answered before diving in, leaving Bill gasping for breath.

Yes, just a typical night in the Cipher-Pines household. Now, if Dipper and Bill succeeded, how were they gonna explain this to their kids? Both quickly decided that they would deal with that when the time came, and went back to their... activities. Hey, whoever said once you couldn't have fun once you got married?

* * *

 **A/N: ... Oh, God, where did that ending come from?! Oh well, I'll leave it. Hope you guys liked it! Remember, concrit is loved, flames are used to grill steak. BYE~!**


End file.
